Coping with the Impact of a Loved One’s Death
Losing a loved one can be overwhelming. It’s a time filled with emotions, questions, and tasks that may feel impossible to face. Grief itself is a heavy burden, and navigating the steps to settle your loved one’s affairs can add to the stress. This guide is designed to help you take things step by step, especially if you’re unfamiliar with legal or financial processes.
Take Care of Yourself First!
Before anything else, focus on your well-being. Grieving is a natural process, and it’s okay to take time to mourn before diving into practical matters. In fact, there’s often little you can do immediately—for example, you’ll need a death certificate before handling many legal and financial tasks. These certificates usually take about 10 days to arrive. Additionally, some estate plans require a waiting period before any formal actions can begin. Use this time to focus on yourself and your family.
Making Funeral and Burial Arrangements
One of the first decisions to address involves planning the funeral, memorial, or cremation. Check your loved one’s estate planning documents for a Declaration of Disposition of Last Remains or a pre-paid funeral or burial plan. These documents outline their wishes and make the planning process smoother.
If no formal instructions exist, family members will need to make these decisions together. Consider reaching out to religious or fraternal organizations or the Veterans Administration, as they may offer assistance or benefits for funeral services. These gatherings provide an opportunity for family and friends to honor your loved one and begin the healing process.
Obtain the Death Certificate
A death certificate is essential for managing the deceased’s affairs. The mortuary handling the arrangements will typically provide this document, but it may take up to 10 days. Request multiple copies—7 to 10 is a good number—as many organizations, such as banks and government agencies, will require one. The person managing the estate (often called the executor or administrator) will need the death certificate and the original Will to begin probate, if required.
Notify Family, Friends, and Employers
Inform close family members, friends, and the loved one’s employer as soon as possible. Employers need to address payroll and workload matters quickly, so prioritize this call. If you’re considering posting on social media, take time to gather your thoughts and prepare what you want to say. Keep in mind that sharing the news may prompt an outpouring of messages, which can feel overwhelming. If needed, you can include a note asking for privacy, such as: “The family appreciates your love and support but kindly asks for space during this difficult time.”
Secure the Deceased’s Property
Protecting your loved one’s home and belongings is an important step. Sadly, criminals sometimes target homes listed in obituaries, especially if medications were present in the home. Consider changing locks or installing security cameras to ensure the property is safe. Notify the post office to redirect mail to a responsible party, such as the estate administrator. Secure any valuables and make arrangements for pets if needed.
Locate the Will or Trust
Search for the deceased’s Will or Trust documents. These may be stored at home, in a safe deposit box, or with their attorney. Most lawyers do not keep the original Will but may have a copy if you’re unable to locate it. If no Will exists, the estate will be distributed according to your state’s intestacy laws, which outline who inherits property when there’s no Will.
Reflect on Your Own Estate Plans
Losing a loved one often prompts reflection about your own future. Creating a clear and comprehensive estate plan can ease the burden on your loved ones when the time comes. Consider consulting an experienced estate planning attorney to ensure your wishes are documented and your family is cared for.
Final Thoughts
The loss of a loved one is never easy, but by taking things step by step, you can navigate this challenging time with greater clarity and peace of mind. Allow yourself to grieve, lean on trusted family and friends, and seek professional guidance when needed. Remember, you don’t have to face this alone!
If you’ve recently lost a loved one and would like additional counseling as you move through this difficult time, please reach out to us.